I got drunk and signed up for eHarmony. Yes, I did. That’s something you will never see in a Jane Austen novel. I am apparently doing this whole online dating thing incorrectly. It’s been three weeks and I haven’t even been able to get one date. So someone please tell me how to actually do it correctly and get, I don’t know…A date. Just one. One date is how I will know if I am ready to move on from the sociopath or not.
First, let’s start with eHarmony because my drunken self cost myself a lot of money and I have six months to figure this out and make it worth my money. So far, three weeks into it, I am totally clueless. So I check eHarmony every morning, and every morning it faithfully delivers me new matches. I go through and select the ones I am interested in and send them my 5 stupid questions. And then…usually they do not respond. I have sent 25 requests. Only two have responded and the other one, I got all the way through the system with, sent him an email and he did not respond to that, bizarre!!
The other guy, I got all the way through the communication process with, I gave him my phone number thinking that hey, he is a teacher so he has to be reasonably sane right? For some reason, I am talking about margaritas and my love for them, and he then tells me he has a bulge in his pants. WHAAAAT? Then the next morning he texted that he woke up with an erection. That is just disgusting. I don’t want to know about that! I’ve never met the guy. So I told him it wasn’t going to work out and then he criticized me for not being able to take a joke.
I mean am I doing something wrong in contacting these guys first? I mean I figure that we are all on the damn site paying so damn much for the same damn reason, so why the hell not? Why play hard to get? I don’t play games. I want a date damnit. Just one date! Why is that so hard to achieve??
Plenty of Fish stories to come in the next post. I am still re-reading Emma so I am killing time before those posts!